Hello my loves. It’s been a minute. I thought I’d come out from hiding by posting a pic that reminds me that I am a strong, powerful woman that can conquer anything I put my mind/heart to. I’m posting this picture of myself because it’s the exact opposite of what I’ve been feeling.
I found out in early January that I was pregnant. Scott and I were over the moon. I was straight knocked the f*ck out with pregnancy symptoms but was still overjoyed at what my body was creating.
Fast forward to our first doctor’s appointment. We went in with the highest of emotions, and so much anticipation only to be told that our baby had no heartbeat. I was carrying but our little babe stopped developing and my body hadn’t recognized that I was no longer pregnant.
I knew going in that this was a possibility. I’ll be 35 next month and have seen quite a few women go through this. I also know my age can be a risk. Let me say though that no matter how many times someone tells me how common this is it does not at all soften the blow. As a matter of fact, if you are someone who says these things and have not experienced this, please stop. Know your boundaries.
We are sad. Heartbroken. Healing. This life I’ve been working to create has been so good to me. My coaching business is flourishing in a way that I thought would take me years to achieve, my teaching is stronger than it has ever been and my relationships and the people around me continue to light me up. Then BAM—The Universe steps up and says, “nah girl, I have a different plan.”
One thing that has been such a blessing is to have the support of my husband (who I’m now convinced is a Saint sent here to make my my life easy) and the strong women around me who have gone through what I’m going through. From their stories it has given me hope that things will be okay and that I’m not alone. My hope is that my story will do the same for someone else.
For anyone who has gone through this my heart aches for you. I’m here to tell you that you are so strong and you will only get stronger. I promise you there’s hope and healing on the way for us. You are not alone. You are loved.